This is the first time I've made myself cry as a DM.
(CW: suicide, child abuse - as a note, the Cult of Rakdos on Ravnica is one that blends performance art with gory violence)
I'm running a campaign set in Ravnica, but as a very old-school Magic fan (I first played it during Fallen Empires) I wanted to make sure that the party would get to travel to other planes. Rather than just fudging it and letting them cast Plane Shift, I've instead got a system where the players undergo some emotionally powerful moment that ignites their planeswalker spark.
My best friend is one of the players in the game, and his Cult of Rakdos College of Whispers Bard has always been a tricky character to build around - the character is chaotic evil, and is straight up a cannibal serial killer. My friend, of course, is a very conscientious and sensible player, so the character's evil doesn't prevent him from cooperating with the party on their missions (part of why I chose to make the Phyrexians my big bad is that even members of the most evil guilds would be motivated to help stop them).
Anyway, I've built up little mini-adventures to set off the player characters' sparks (they're all potential planeswalkers, which there's an in-universe explanation for, though it's primarily to allow planar travel in a Post-Mending multiverse). And tonight, the Bard went to see his parents' final show within the Lower Theatre (my invention,) the most prestigious venue within Rix-Maadi, the Rakdos Guildhall.
The bard's parents were the "rival" rolled for his contacts within the Cult of Rakdos (I think he'd initially rolled Rakdos himself, and while he decided to try again for a less crazy option, I kind of worked it into the character's unknown backstory). The bard spent his childhood as the "goblin pincushion" during shows in which his parents would throw daggers at him, ending each performance by killing him, only for the boy to be revived at the curtain call.
This painful period as a "child star" in the guild coupled with his parents cutting him out of the act when he became an adult led to a deep resentment of his parents.
So, the show was already going to be emotionally charged. But then I made the big reveal: his parents' farewell show was an autobiographical musical but also a confession, showing that they had actually made a deal with Rakdos to sacrifice their son for theatrical success, and then realized that Rakdos meant the sacrifices to go on continuously. They cut him from the show when the guilt was too much for them to bear (though, you know, only after years of this).
His parents' careers went down the drain after they did this, no longer receiving Rakdos' blessing. And so, they concluded that they would give one last show and leave the theater they'd built to him. And in that last performance, his parent come on stage to sing the final number, before the actors portraying them slit their throats.
And man, as I started to describe that final number, I got choked up. I've maybe never come up with something so fucked up on so many levels - there's the manner in which this is that heightened horror that is normal for the Cult of Rakdos, but on another level, I think I managed to create an all-too-real example of abusive parents whose attempts to absolve themselves of their guilt just further traumatize and damage their child.
The culmination of this performance ultimately has the bard's spark ignite, and I think I began to realize as I was taking the players through the musical (which also involved a bunch of saving throws and ability checks to survive the performance, because, you know, Rakdos) just how infuriatingly shitty these NPCs were. Evil alignment is usually portrayed in those heightened ways, but I think I came up with a portrayal of such supreme narcissism that it couldn't be described as anything but evil - but in a disturbingly realistic manner.
So, I got choked up, and I left the table speechless. And boy do I feel drained.
I think I should note that, whatever issues I might have with my parents (one of whom died five years ago) none of this was autobiographical for me - my parents always treated my sister and me with respect and genuine care. But I think there are some universal themes and anxieties around how parents shape us, and how deeply unfair it can feel when the fallout of their issues is passed on to us, that must have resonated quite deeply with me in the moment.
But yeah, I think that's the most emotional I've gotten DMing before.
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